I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
