yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
