I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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