Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
