hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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