dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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