i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
