and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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