have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
