if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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