idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize