I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
