Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
