that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
