im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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