I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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