fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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