Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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