I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
