i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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