Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
