Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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