thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
