I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
