He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
