Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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