Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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