im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize