is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
