im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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