doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
