the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
