Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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