ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
