How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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