So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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