i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
