his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
