his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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