just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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