2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
