The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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