drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
