If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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