my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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