I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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