Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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