just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
