whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
