Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
