but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
