Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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