i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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