absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
