my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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