dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
