yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
