i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
