Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
