the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
