We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
