I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
